Blaming Short Men's Personalities In Dating

I try to not talk about short men's dating issues much these days, as I view them as symptoms of heightism itself, like how there's more interracial dating the less racism there is. Still, many of the reasons people use to dismiss short men baffle my mind. The main one is usually something like, "short men get less dates because short men have bad personalities. Lose the chip on your shoulder and the women will follow."

I'll break this down:
  • Why would any short man have a "chip on his shoulder" in the first place?
  • If women date based on personality and care so much about it, why do millions of women complain about cheating or domestic abuse? Are short men simply worse actors and can't hide a nasty persona? Is every criminal a virgin for life?
  • Considering how every poll/study shows that women vastly prefer tall men, why blame short men's personalities?
Let's take a look at the video below:

Now, why would an ad like this exist? Was it his terrible personality she disliked? Or was it the fact that women care about height itself so often, that it can be made into an easily understood advertisement?

How about the message in this ad?

Height or personality? If anyone claims the latter, it's all typical just-world bullshit. The amount of short men who openly show anger over heightism could probably be fit on one island. Most short guys are perpetually grinning and always ready to kiss up to others to show how docile they are, all the while chastising any short man who rocks the boat. Still, the number one deal breaker in dating is height, and when sperm banks have height requirements, is it because the short sperm have bad personalities? When women have options, they usually won't pick the shorter man. With the advent of things like online dating, women have more options than ever, so what's personality have to do with this? Most women just don't like short guys. Don't rub salt in the wound by claiming it's about personality. When some ugly girl is passed over, nobody blames her attitude.

Also, since people love judging short men based on stereotypes, are we supposed to ignore the stereotype that women prefer bad boys? Live by stereotypes or don't. Either way, this study found that women preferred happy nice guys less, so shouldn't short men be more popular? Short Man Syndrome, right?

In all seriousness, here are a few examples of blaming short men's personalities instead of society's height dynamic:

I included the last screenshot because it makes this funnier.

It seems like some girls are a bit too eager to proclaim their sudden distaste towards short men, even if it's based off of a few short men. It's like they've always been waiting for a good opportunity to finally reject all short men, but without being labeled as superficial or narrow-minded. It's like they expect every short man to be a perfect human being, and the moment one or two slip up, it's over. Perhaps this is also due to hearing negative stereotypes about short men since childhood, like from Shrek. Whatever the cause, it typically goes like this:

"It's rarely the height itself that's the issue, it's the crippling insecurity and emotional baggage that accompany it that no one likes."

Seen this a thousand times. Keep in mind you'll never see this with tall men. Even if one literally punches a woman in the face, she’ll still date other tall guys. Meanwhile one or two "insecure short guys" allegedly ruin everything. Also note how society is insecure about many things: weight, breast size, penis size, baldness, nose/eye shape, age, etc. One would think most humans would be single if insecurity were so repulsive, but it seems only short men face any noticeable consequence. Almost like when girls reject a guy before barely knowing him, then outright state it's about his height, maybe we should believe it. Unless all the height requirements women have are actually about personalty.

Besides, if some insecure girl looked like a model, wouldn't she still garner more positive attention than some uglier confident girl? Flip the genders and suddenly we have to pretend like women are less shallow than men, as if they'd turn down an insecure tall guy for a confident dwarf. More importantly, if a woman was insecure about her body image, this society would sympathize with her and many men would still date her. Instead of being told to suck it up, her date would tell her how beautiful she is. Males on the other hand are expected to be impervious, in a society that considers it rude to merely ask a woman her weight (let alone insult her for it), while men are fair game to outright mock constantly. It's only "whining" when it's a male issue. Even when a short man finds someone, that girl will not talk about how awesome his height is, the way a man praises his fat girl's curves.

This whole issue transcends dating. No matter how many people foam at the mouth to hate on tall guys like Osama bin Laden or Donald Trump, society will never target tall height itself. Short men are blamed as a group, and receive consequences as a group. If some short guy used the countless women from heightismxposed as an excuse to hate women, nobody would tolerate it. Only in a prejudiced society could someone say, and I quote, "I actually like short guys but this place makes me want to hate them," then be positively received.

Look at the screenshot below and tell me what the hell is "internalized shortness." Is it the opposite of being tall on the inside?

This is like me pointing out one successful minority, then pretending like society has no more inequity. Remember short men: it's all in your head, although it's nice to know women will like you if you're rich and famous. Keep in mind Bruno Mars has been performing since he was a kid, like child actor Danielle Radcliffe. I'm sure if these short guys were random nobodies performing in small establishments, these women would still totally drool over them. It's how popular this just-world fallacy is that's disturbing, where people would rather call out "angry short men" constantly, rather than examine their own prejudice. That mentality is why things never change.

Here's some more related reading:

A person is now considered dumb if they don't believe in mind reading:  "You are incredibly stupid if you think a woman foes not notice the toxic attitude. We can smell it from miles away"

Too bad all these women couldn't smell this guy's personality.

If it were this easy, it would be impossible to ever trick someone. Is every instance of a woman being manipulated fake? There have been cases of women inviting men home from online dating or the bar, then getting killed by these men. What happened to this ability to "smell" toxicity? I'll tell you what happened: the Halo Effect ("Research has shown that we automatically assign to good-looking individuals such favorable traits as talent, kindness, honesty, and intelligence"). The opposite of this is the Devil Effect ("when people allow an undesirable trait to influence their evaluation of other traits"). Now keep in mind how a man is considered more attractive the taller is, and less desirable the shorter he is.

Here's a reddit thread about "confidence and niceness," and some statistics for domestic violence. Seems like countless "bad personalities" are still getting partners. For example: 7 feet tall wrestler/bodybuilder accused of beating girlfriend while still engaged to another woman, or this tall rapist/killer who dated multiple girls. How do guys like this get anyone in the first place? This applies even for short men, because Charles Manson was quite the ladies man (due to charisma). I'm not saying these guys should be emulated or excused just because they still attracted women. The point is that a lack of niceness doesn't disqualify a man. Meekness or an uninteresting personality, perhaps, but not goodness.

This could all be a subconscious attempt to preserve the women are wonderful effect. Women are "the fairer sex" and "caring gender" after all, so surely they date based on personality unlike those shallow picky men. I'm sure most women would romance a 4'11 man so long as he's kind.

Simply put, whenever people say, "maybe it's not your height, it's your bad personality/laziness/ugliness," they ignore how for men, being short is considered a flaw just like all those other traits. Ask most men if they'd be okay with being 5 feet tall, then when most say no, it'll be obvious this has nothing to do with personality.

Here are a good set of comments about this, one from an Asian man: "I've heard the same fucking thing in regards to race (Asian men). The thing is I don't blame people for having preferences, but not acknowledging that it exists is infuriating. Even worse, turning it on you, the person that has that trait, rather than the population who picks, is really infuriating."

Update: "Personality traits have no influence on initial romantic attraction, study finds" and "teens and young adults who bullied others dated more and had more sex." Nothing new for me, but clearly some people believe otherwise. Fact of the matter is that it's so easy for women to pick between various men, that they have no reason to let a short man past that "initial" phase to even know his personality (this happens especially in online dating). Most people's idea of a short man's personality is just a caricature anyway. It takes a specific circumstance for a woman to know a short man well, like when they're forced to interact in the workplace, the short guy is rich, the woman has fewer options now, etc. Otherwise, the shorter a man is, the more likely he is to be rejected at first glance due to height alone, not personality. End of story. Men’s looks matter more than women admit.

1 comment:

  1. If women date based on personality and care so much about it, why do millions of women complain about cheating or domestic abuse?

    I think this should read, "If women date based upon personality, then what does height have anything to do with it?