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Monday, 13 February 2017

If Short Men's Personalities Are to Blame In Dating...

I try to not talk about short men's dating issues much these days, as I view them as symptoms of heightism itself, like how there's more interracial dating the less racism there is. Still, many of the reasons people use to dismiss short men baffle my mind. The main one is usually something like, "short men get less dates because short men have bad personalities. Lose the chip on your shoulder and the women will follow."

I'll break this down:

  • Why would any short man have a "chip on his shoulder" in the first place?
  • If women date based on personality and care so much about it, why do millions of women complain about cheating or domestic abuse? Are short men simply worse actors and can't hide a nasty persona?
  • Considering how every poll/study shows that women vastly prefer tall men, why blame short men's personalities?

Essentially, it's all typical just-world bullshit. The amount of short men who openly show anger over heightism could probably be fit on one island. Most short guys are perpetually grinning and always ready to kiss up to others to show how docile they are, all the while chastising any short man who rocks the boat. Still, the number one deal breaker in dating is height, and sperm banks have a height retirement of 5'9. I guess most guys under average height must be real nasty meanies for women to avoid short DNA like the plague. Also, this study found that women preferred happy nice guys less, so shouldn't short men be more popular? Short Man Syndrome, right?

In all seriousness, here are a few examples of blaming short men's personalities instead of society's height dynamic:

I included the last screenshot because it makes this funnier.

It seems like some girls are a bit too eager to proclaim their sudden distaste towards short men, even if it's based off of a few short men. It's like they've always been waiting for a good opportunity to finally reject all short men, but without being labeled as superficial or narrow-minded. It's like they expect every short man to be a perfect human being, and the moment one or two slip up, it's over. Perhaps this is also due to hearing negative stereotypes about short men since childhood, like from Shrek. Whatever the cause, it typically goes like this:

Seen this a thousand times. Keep in mind you'll never see this with tall men. Even if one literally punches a woman in the face, she’ll still date other tall guys. Also note how society is insecure about many things: weight, breast size, penis size, baldness, nose/eye shape, age, etc. One would think most humans would be single if insecurity were so repulsive, but it seems only short men face any noticeable consequence. Almost like when girls reject a guy before barely knowing him, then outright states it's about his height, maybe we should believe it. Unless all the height requirements women have are actually about personalty.

This whole thing transcends dating. No matter how many people foam at the mouth to hate on tall guys like Osama bin Laden or Donald Trump, society will never target tall height itself. Short men are blamed as a group, and receive consequences as a group. If some short guy used the countless women from heightismxposed as an excuse to hate women, nobody would tolerate it. Only in a prejudiced society could someone say, and I quote, "I actually like short guys but this place makes me want to hate them," then be positively received.

Look at the screenshot below and tell me what the hell is "internalized shortness." Is it the opposite of being tall on the inside?

This is like me pointing out one successful minority, then pretending like society has no more inequity. Remember short men: it's all in your head, although it's nice to know women will like you if you're rich and famous. Keep in mind Bruno Mars has been performing since he was a kid, like child actor Danielle Radcliffe. I'm sure if these short guys were random nobodies performing in small establishments, these women would still totally drool over them. It's how popular this just-world fallacy is that's disturbing, where people would rather call out "angry short men" constantly, rather than examine their own prejudice. That mentality is why things never change.

Here's some more related reading:

A reddit thread about "confidence and niceness," and some statistics for domestic violence. Seems like countless "bad personalities" are still getting partners. For example: 7 feet tall wrestler/bodybuilder accused of beating girlfriend while still engaged to another woman, or this tall rapist/killer who dated multiple girls. How do guys like this get anyone in the first place? This applies even for short men, because Charles Manson is quite the ladies man (due to charisma). I'm not saying these guys should be emulated or excused just because they still attracted women. The point is that a lack of niceness doesn't disqualify a man. Meekness or an uninteresting personality, perhaps, but not goodness.

Nobody bats an eye if I claim a nasty bimbo could still find plenty of men if she's conventionally attractive. For some reason, flip the genders and it's very personal and offensive to suggest that an unkind man's looks or charm could still woo women. Must be a subconscious attempt to preserve the women are wonderful effect. Women are "the fairer sex" and "caring gender" after all, so surely they date based on personality unlike those shallow picky men. I'm sure most women would romance a 4'11 man so long as he's kind.

Simply put, whenever people say, "maybe it's not your height, it's your bad personality/laziness/ugliness," they ignore how for men, being short is considered a flaw just like all those other traits. Ask most men if they'd be okay with being 5 feet tall, then when most say no, it'll be obvious this has nothing to do with personality.

Update: I found this study which was interesting and relevant: "Personality traits have no influence on initial romantic attraction, study finds." Nothing new for me, but clearly some people believe otherwise. Fact of the matter is that it's so easy for women to pick between various men, that they have no reason to let a short man past that "initial" phase to even know his personality (this happens especially in online dating). Most people's idea of a short man's personality is just a caricature anyway. It takes a specific circumstance for a woman to know a short man well, like when they're forced to interact in the workplace, the short guy is rich, the woman has fewer options now, etc. Otherwise, the shorter a man is, the more likely he is to be rejected at first glance. End of story.

1 comment:

  1. If women date based on personality and care so much about it, why do millions of women complain about cheating or domestic abuse?

    I think this should read, "If women date based upon personality, then what does height have anything to do with it?