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Sunday, 15 February 2015

Compilation of Badass Tall People

All comments taken from this thread: http://www.reddit.com/r/tall/comments/15asm3/rant_against_napoleon_complex_short_guys/

This seems lengthy, but trust me, these stories are hilarious.

6'4 Guy: "Walking out of a bathroom in school a kid bumped into me and started to pick a fight. i stood up straight and looked down at him(he was about 5'2"). he tried to punch me in the stomach but i grabbed his fist, twisted it behind him, and shoved him against the wall. i let him go and walked away, not even saying a word. later that day i got pulled from class to talk to the principal. he asked what happened and i told him. he is also a tall guy, about 6'3", so i guess he understood what was going on. he just told me next time someone tried to pick a fight, try not to slam their head against a concrete wall before he patted me on the back and sent me back to class." Tall principal with favoritism for tall kids. Nice.

6'1 Girl: "For sure. I've even had shorter guys try and "play" fight me, and then start throwing "light" punches, but you can tell that they're putting force into it, like they're trying to out-alpha me or something. It's fucking bizarre." Ohohoho, now us short guys are not only picking fights with tall men, but tall women as well!

6'0 Girl: "A group of guys in high school referred to me exclusively as "tall scary girl" and I'm often made to feel like a "monster" or a "giant" because of my height--but ONLY from shorter men. Its not like I've never been the subject of catty comments from other women or taller men but they've never been derogatory about my height." Comments from short men seem meaner because short men are portrayed as malicious. Proof? These anecdotes. Even play fighting has some sinister agenda.

6'6 Guy: "Last time someone hit me in a bar. I grabbed him in a bearhug holding his arms at his sides as I tried to kiss him with the rest of the bar laughing. Thinking back and hearing his screams as I did this still bring a smile to my face." If a short man did this, he'd be labeled a power-hungry Napoleon. Guaranteed.

6'3 Guy: "In high school, it was my dean that was after me. He used to hit me hard with detentions for minor shit. He even called my dad into his office to meet with us because I bought a soda from the teacher's lounge *gasp. My dad is a bit scary and I thought he was going to be PISSED for being inconvenienced, but as soon as we walk out of the office, he turns to me and says "He must have Napoleon complex." Because tall authority figures are never assholes.

6'2 Girl: "The meanest comments I've ever heard directed at my size are from short men." Meanest comments I've heard about my height were from fuckers like these.

Tallest kid in school: "I had one idiot in junior high decide that he wanted to screw with me. I didn't even know him, but we happened to be in the same PE class. One afternoon when they had us running in circles out on the track, he decides he wants to try to spit on me. I just flipped him off and ignored him. We get back in the locker room later on, and out of nowhere he tries to garrotte me with a t-shirt. I can honestly say that I don't remember what happened immediately after that. Once my latent berserkr genes turned back off, and I regained some conscious control, I remember holding him up against the wall, about four inches off the ground. Yeah, he didn't try that again." Leave the berserker rage to Wolverine, tough guy.

6'6 Guy: "I've had multiple tussles with "Napoleans" - my most memorable was at a club here in Toronto that I was run by a crew that I had close connections with. One night a smoking hot girl was eyeing me all night and it wasn't until 4-5am that I realized a short little guy with her was her boyfriend. I new all the security at the club and let them know this dude was about to pop. Sure enough he makes his way over in a fit of rage. As he's about to start yelling at me I palmed his face like a basketball and shoved him right into the arms of the head of security who confiscated all of his goodies and proceeded to hand them to me while I partied with his girl the rest of the night. Short man was quickly escorted out and apparently ran into a few walls on the way out, also got banned from the club at the same time. It was a good night." My, us silly short men! What weak little jerks we are! Tall men are the saviors of us all. Please breed all the wimmenz!

6'4 Guy: "The last time I got in a bar 'fight', I was pretty drunk and didn't immediately notice the short (5'4"ish) guy that was punching me in the chest (I was pretty drunk). I reached out and picked him up by the scruff of his jacket, from behind, like a mother cat, lifted him off the floor, spinning him around in the process. I set him back on his feet and gave a not-so-gentle shove between the shoulder blades. He just kept walking and the bouncer, who was just stepping up to intervene, just about killed himself laughing." Response from some other tall guy: "Yeah when I first read the story I was thinking "damn, shoulda knocked him the fuck out". But this would be way better, especially with people under 6'. Literally picking them up and laughing at them really shows them who's boss - you don't care about their shit."

"I lifted the short guy off the floor and spun him around."

Really? Really? Is this from a cartoon?

Imagine if these people were listing all the mean things blacks or gays did, and used these anecdotes to paint those groups in a bad light. Their confirmation bias would be lambasted by the politically correct. Hating on short men though? Well received by everyone (even though most of it sounds dramatized at best and fake at worst). Short men may be labeled with the Napoleon Complex, but it seems like some people on the opposite end of the spectrum are the ones on a power trip.

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