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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Love and Respect

I'm only attracted to anyone I can respect. That's a given for most people, yes? However, I cannot respect anyone who's too stupid to differentiate between school and education. I can't respect the women who go for the tall, apathetic douchebags a dozen times, then crawl to men like me afterwards. I don't care if a girl's a virgin or not, but at least fuck decent guys before me. Is that too much to ask for these days? Otherwise, it seems like you think with your vagina, and that's a huge turn off.

Unfortunately, this pretty much reduces my dating (God I still hate that term) pool to nothing. Most people, not just girls, are stupid, unfaithful, and shallow. Why people actively search for mates is beyond me. Don't give me the "humans are wired to breed" cliche because most don't want kids till they're married, if ever. It's just the stigma against being alone that causes individuals to date people they don't respect. Turned on by, sure, but not respect. That leads to emotions being trampled on and break ups/divorces up the ass.

Hypothetically, if I got angry at the girls who liked me back in school, I would have debated them till they cried. I'm skilled at pushing everyone's buttons. I've done it to grown, arrogant men like my vice principal and father. I do so easily because I respect none of them. That's why I ignored the typical school girls who chatted with me. So kind and pretty, but ignorant and dumb. I liked them, but didn't respect them. Or maybe I respected their feelings and didn't want to eventually hurt them, because there's no way I can be with a school slave.

This goes for parenting too. If you don't respect your child as a living, breathing human being, it's guaranteed to go awry. You can punish and hurt them, physically or psychologically. The kid might shut up and obey, but they won't respect you. Not truly. When adults who were spanked as children say they 'respect' their parents for disciplining them, what they really mean is, "thank you for whipping me into submission like I'm a horse." Horses don't respect their owners, do they?

Respect is the key component for any loving relationship. Friends, parents, mates... I have none of those because I don't respect most people. My fault? Sure, but when they're so obedient, and afraid of pain, authority, loneliness, divergence, death... What's there to respect?

I respect good people regardless of everything, but when many approve of a school system that depresses youth and puts them on meds, are they really good human beings? I don't think so. They fit the 'upstanding citizen' image and nothing more. I spit on most people who proclaim to be 'good.'

The only people I respect are the ones I've never met. Individuals who fight for what they believe, the ones who overcome adversity. They say and do what's right even if they're berated by the masses. I want to meet one person who understands school without me explaining anything, or someone who's gone through trauma and survived. I want to respect, if not love, someone in person.

Too bad all those years I went out and was met with only ignoramuses turned me into a hermit. I wasn't exactly sitting alone everyday a few years ago, believe it or not. I probably knew dozens and dozens of people who approached and chatted with me, and I respected none of them. You could say this is my fault for being picky and narrow-minded, and you'd be right about the first part. It's the fact that most people are narrow-minded themselves that makes this a conundrum. I don't want to talk to conformed drones, and they don't want to be seen publicly with a short, 'ugly' dropout. No respect either way, and thus no love lost.

Every racist 'joke,' every insult about short men, every comment on appearance, every demeaning remark about one's education... When someone wonders why love is dead, it's because respect died first. It's been replaced with worship and compliance for status, looks, power, authority... Or perhaps it's always been that way. People think respect is shutting up when their king speaks, even if that king is a weak, selfish coward. That's why I disrespect the people. Stupid.

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