Monday, 13 January 2014

Hypoagency: It's Men's Fault for Women Rejecting Short Guys

TL;DR: When a woman dates a short man, it's due to the goodness in her heart, but when she rejects short men, society/nature made her do it. Even if the latter holds more pressure, I think it's due to her own will either way.

This is about how some person said it's okay for women to reject short men because "society makes them do it." Have you ever heard someone use the line, "if so-and-so told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?" I have finally found a scenario in which that phrase isn't condescending.

Without further ado, here are the quotes:

"Height is not a silly criterion. Society in general DOES prefer taller men in EVERY situation. Society in general DOES teach women that they should look for a male partner who is going to be taller than them. When there's such a strong bias against a category of people, it's not silly at all to take that bias into consideration when choosing a mate. For example, only the most blinded of fat acceptance advocate would deny that it takes an uncommon amount of open-mindedness and sheer courage for an average man to take an obese woman as his partner. Men are taught to automatically refuse obese women as partners, and women are taught to automatically refuse short men as partners. Dismissing these criteria as "silly" is an exercise in pointless denial."

First off, do not equate obese women to short men. Unless a fat girl has a medical condition, she's being rejected for the same reasons someone with bad hygiene or a drug problem might. Height is a genetic trait like skin color, so would you tell an Asian or Black man he's being rejected because he's similar to a fat woman? For the record, I like thicker girls, but that would be ridiculous. Why must we compare prejudices anyway? 

Secondly, I'm pretty sure women are not obligated to do as they're told. Choosing mates just because society is biased in favor of them is such a scummy lifestyle. Ever heard of minority women who are gold-diggers or exclusively date White men? Even though it's their right, and American society favors rich/White men, these women are shamed for wanting to "date-up the totem pole" because it's shallow. However, when it comes to height, they should get a free pass?

Third, by preferring tall men for their unearned perks, you give them more unearned perks. Instead, how about we stop this cycle?

Finally, society telling women to judge based on a silly criterion does not make that criterion not silly.

"For the majority of people, both men and women, the way other people in their circle are going to look at their prospective partner is an integral part of whether said prospective partner is high-quality or not to begin with. All kinds of prejudices are going to factor in, from the crude and obvious ones (race, religion, wealth...) to the more subtle ones (education, mental health, hobbies...) Personal attractivity is going to be one of these factors, and is going to be more or less important depending on individual personality. A wonderful woman who just happens to not look good enough to be introduced to a man's circle of friends or family will most often be rejected out of hand as "not good enough". And women are taught to do the same with short men: if he's too short, then he's automatically considered "not high-quality" - and should she forget about that, most everyone in her family and circle of friends will make sure to remind her of it, in subtle or not-so-subtle ways."

What's the point here? That shallowness is a good enough excuse to not date someone, because you're scared others will view them as lowly? Looks like somebody here chooses to hinge their self-esteem on how others perceive them. This is for anyone who ruins their own dates due to friends/family gossiping: maybe you should hang out with a better circle of acquaintances, rather than avoid people for their genetics (especially if you're attracted to them otherwise). A girl should have self-worth and tell nosy people to fuck off, because those jerks are the ones with the problem, not her short boyfriend. Is that not a better lesson than "just do what society deems easiest?" Again, why are we in a race to see who can be more superficial?

"Society has it that a straight man can be almost anything and still deserve a perfect woman. It's the Beauty and the Beast story: he can be ugly as hell, and treat her like shit, but he still deserves her just because he loves her. The reverse is anything but true: a she-Beast will never deserve a good guy unless she thoroughly cleans up first. So women are under pressure to satisfy a long, long list of Acceptable Mate Criteria, while men pretty much just have to show up and show interest. One of the very rare criteria that men traditionally have to satisfy is height: they have to be taller than their chosen lady. So really, blaming women for applying one of the rare criteria they are actually allowed (and strongly encouraged) to apply, when they themselves are under a whole laundry list of criteria to satisfy, is simply unfair."

The main theme here seems to be, "let girls get back at men." Beauty and the Beast is fictional, in case anyone didn't know. Beast is still huge as fuck though, proving that men can be 'ugly' in any and every regard and still get a girl, except when the man is short. Short stature in a male is a whole new level of unattractiveness. Just look at the movie Shrek: "the movie attempts to put forward a lesson for the kids that it’s ok to be different, unless you are a short male. If you’re a guy, its ok to be horribly ugly, so long as you have height to fall back on and you can push people around."

Besides, the amount of women who would choose a mute crippled burn victim are the same as the men who will, no matter what fiction implies. Women can be, and are, just as shallow as men in every regard. I can also counter with how Disney has made girls think they're all entitled to their prince charming: she can be ugly on the inside, but so long as she loves him, nothing but a tall fit guy will do... Fortunately, my views of real women aren't based on cartoons.

"You're sitting here whining about the women who are simply doing what they are told to do, instead of fighting the system which is teaching them to reject you. In short: you're acting like the entitled man that you have been raised to be. You want to have your cake and eat it too where women are concerned. You want to be allowed to rail against any woman who doesn't think you're God's gift to her, while not recognising that it is your own male peers who teach her to think that way in the first place. You're a man. You belong to the category which has the power where men/women dynamics are concerned. If you want to make a real change, then go after the ones who have the power to change the system (the other guys), instead of beating on those who are already victim of that system (women)."

The issue here is about women refusing to date short guys, yet the blame should be placed on men? Once more, NOBODY FORCES WOMEN TO OSTRACIZE SHORT MEN.

"It's mind-boggling to see women being vilified for following the rules men have created, when the very fact that there are women who accept short men as mates proves that quite a few of them have the guts to go against those rules."

What if I said, "women who date short men shouldn't be praised, the short guy made her believe in him?" That would be invalidating her own decisions, right? So why is it okay to say, "the women who reject short men aren't to blame, men made her do it?" It's the man's fault when she is shallow, but it's due to her own goodness when she is not? Convenient. The only boggling thing is how people bring up women who like (not "put up with," but like) short men. They are so rare that mentioning them is empty condolence.

"Why do you blame women for simply looking for what they've been told makes a better mate? A tall man is what they've been told since infancy they should look out for, so that's what they do. Women are raised with the idea that their male partners will be taller than them, and they see what happens to the girls who have the misfortune of growing taller than most of the boys around, so the message that "the man has to be taller than the woman" gets VERY deeply ingrained in their psyche indeed. So why do you specifically blame the women when it's none of their fault? They just follow the rules they've been taught all their life, nothing more evil than that."

"None of their fault?" Maybe half is their fault, but none? Women have free will, and no matter how much they say "oh, sorry, prewired to hate millions of men," they have free will. This is gonna sound retarded, and feel free to chuckle, but I have trained myself to be aroused by the women I used to reject on a massive scale: black women, fat women, etc. There's no way to prove this, but I have. How? It's simple: in every general group of millions (fat, short, dark, etc.), there is someone who can change your mind if you let them. A closed mind is bolted from the inside.

The following is a seemingly random personal note, but I promise there's a moral behind it. Many years ago, after much contemplation and research, I chose to reject the public school system. I don't care to explain my decision to those who disagree, I am only mentioning it to prove how anyone can fight what they've been conditioned to hold dear. Even if 100% of those who surround you want your life to be a certain way, you cannot blame them when you give in. This is not a popular stance, because it's easier to blame our choices on instinct or upbringing. I don't care if people think I'm blaming women for rejecting short men, because I am blaming women and society for their biases against short men. Not women or society, but both, because women are half of the population and they are the ones ultimately doing the rejecting, no matter how much social conditioning they've been subjected to.

Question: if I grew up in an area that told me to be racist, can I blame that area for my racism? It would be easy to, but I'd rather blame my cowardice to go against the norm, or my stupidity for not being able to question everything. Either way, hiding behind my cultural upbringing or biological makeup would be the last thing I'd do, because I am a sentient being with agency.

If I ever dismiss millions of women based on a normal genetic trait, and try to blame my narrow-mindedness on society or nature, someone kill me for I have lost all responsibility. Even though both men and women say, "I get why girls reject short guys and it's okay and it makes sense because" - shut your mouths and own up. The easiest way to get by in a shallow society is by being shallow, and that's the path many choose. Choose, meaning it's their fucking fault by choice.

"A closed mind is bolted from the inside."

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