Thursday, 14 November 2013

Self-Deprecating Humor

"I think all of us know a guy like this. Always bringing up his 'flaws' before anyone else can. Always spinning it in a positive light, or trying to be funny, in order to prove to others that he's "one of the good ones."

In this study on how self-deprecating humor is harmful, it says "self-deprecating humor was much more attractive than other-deprecating humor when used by high-status potential mates, for both male and female raters. When used by low-status potential mates, there was little difference in long-term attractiveness between self- and other-deprecating humor. We theorize that high-status individuals can more easily afford to make fun of themselves."

"Thus, the use of self-deprecating humor by low-status individuals may be counter-productive, suggesting depression, defeatism, subordination, low self-esteem, and/or low mate value. On the other hand, if an individual has achieved high social status, they are unlikely to have truly low conscientiousness, extraversion, or emotional stability, and they must show reasonable agreeableness often enough to make friends and win support. Thus, self-deprecating humor may be a way of transiently faking inferior personally traits, to highlight the discrepancy between the faked traits (e.g., introversion, neuroticism) and the traits actually required to win high status."

Basically, when you're a "low status" person (like a short man), you only come off as pathetic when you self-deprecate. When you're already regarded as a joke, yet you laugh at yourself, why would expect others to laugh with you?

I made this post because some dipshit said, "Embrace being short and accept that it is part of you. Laugh when a girl rejects you at the bar for being too short and move on. Smile when someone uses you (all the fucking time) as an armrest. Recycle the short jokes you have heard all throughout high school and middle school on yourself and make people laugh."

No, this guy was not being sarcastic, and he might as well cut his balls off. Guys like him are a dime a dozen. How does making fun of a normal trait mean you've embraced it? The day I laugh along with a bigoted 'joke' is the day my pride is in the dirt. A substantial part of the reason I'm not laughing is that I've heard these jokes a thousand times. I don't owe anyone a fake laugh for their unoriginality.

How often does a 6'0 guy have to make fun of his own height? When does a flat or fat girl get told she should make fun of her own looks? Some consistency would be nice.

I heard this great line once: self-deprecating humor is self-loathing with laughter at the end of it.

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