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Sunday, 2 March 2014

Being a Virgin Implies a Lack of Social Skill?

"Being a virgin at an older age just strongly implies the person lacks social skills and/or a circle of friends. I'm definitely no stud but most of the sex I've had hasn't been from chasing girls, more a mutual attraction built from having fun in a social environment that leads to getting together. I guess my point is if you've never just naturally gotten close enough for sex with a girl it seems to other people like you don't have basic social skills. Sorry if that's offensive but everyone acts like people care if you've penetrated a vagina, no it's the why you've never been in that situation."

  • Some awkward guy who's tall and handsome could stand in the corner at a party and some girl would probably come to him for sex. My sister's meek but rugged 6'2 boyfriend had a random girl force herself on him for his first time. He basically got raped, which sucks, but he still technically lost his virginity without doing jackshit aside from looking manly. No social skills required.
  • There are a bunch of men who are sociable, witty, nice and funny yet have never gotten laid. Why? *cough*short/ugly*cough*
  • Lots of individuals choose to abstain from sex for religious/moral reasons. You can Google a list of socially functional actors, football players, musicians, etc. who were/are late virgins. If anyone has the nerve to imply all these people lack social skills, be my guest, but these stars seem to be very popular and have numerous friends/acquaintances.

When many think of virginity, they imagine some chump who's weak and barely articulate. I guarantee nobody can tell if a muscular, outspoken man is a virgin. People need to stop watching so many sitcoms where they turn virgins into a joke. Ever notice how all the hate is only directed at virgin males? Virginity is just another trait that has been stigmatized by society, like short stature or being Asian. All that is a no-no if you have a penis and comes with myriad stereotypes. Short men are weak, Asian men are nerdy, virgins lack social skills, list goes on. Society just needs a group to throw baseless insults at like they always have, even though stereotypes have no basis in reality.

If I had to guess why an older virgin would have poor social skills, it would be due to people automatically assuming they're socially inadequate. Even if no one else knew they were a virgin, simply hearing some general insult about virgins can cause the initial low esteem, which then affects their actual performance. Look up the brown-eyes experiment if you haven't. This effect also applies to the aforementioned Asian and short men. Society portrays these groups as weak and undesirable from birth, so when these men are broken into submission, people point and say "See? They were defective all along!" People will act like these traits alone are inherent flaws, when really, men with these traits have flaws attached to them by others. I shouldn't have to explain why social baggage can cause social problems. This ain't rocket science.

Lots of 14-year-olds have sex, yet they have no idea how to speak properly with another human being. They make the rudest, most tactless and shallow comments ever. Still, they get laid. Either this means all these kids have impeccable sociability, or sex and social skills are barely linked in today's society. Two people can literally go on some hookup app, view each other's pics and stats, then say "Want to fuck? Sure." I bow at their people skills.

Seriously, if you're a natural introvert, your idea of "naturally getting close to someone" is probably slower than other people, and that should be fine. Society rushes everyone into sex, which is already annoying, but when people also assume things about virgins, somebody needs to knock it off.

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