Friday, 15 November 2013

Virgin Shaming

"How many times has the typical outspoken male been virgin-shamed? I've spoken on men's issues for 17 years now and it's happened to me hundreds of times. Examples of virgin shaming are as follows:  

  • "You must be a 40-year old virgin living in your mother's basement."  
  • "You must hate women because no woman would ever have sex with you."
  • "You're only avoiding dating because no woman would ever have you anyway."
  • "Maybe if you weren't such a misogynist asshole, you'd be able to get laid and find out that women aren't so bad."

So in other words, people are taking advantage of society's perception that male attractiveness to women = male worth as a human being, and using it as a shaming tactic. Because they know that many men DO determine their self-worth based on their purported attractiveness to women. 

In short, "You are useless to women as a sex object."

Frankly, I don't think this tactic is very effective on any man who is even slightly self-aware. Even if a man is a virgin, what's the problem with that? Doesn't make him any less of a human being."

One of my oldest friends is a nice a guy, but bless his heart, he's kind of insecure. Our mutual buddy told me he was really desperate to get laid because "having sex is what real men/adults do." This lead to him (awkwardly) hitting on girls even though he's not that type of guy, and said girls got scared and ran off. We're only 19, so I dunno what my friend was insecure about. I guess not getting laid in high school means we failed at life. This way of thinking also means all the wise monks who have sworn abstinence are children, while the 14 year old boys getting their dicks wet are 'real men.' Whatever that means.

If anyone thinks virgins are automatically incompetent in bed, this idea fails to take into account how every sexual partner will have different needs and desires. There are people who've had sex with multiple partners for many years, yet they'll always fail to communicate. Even those who claim to be great in bed will not mesh well with at least one other person. People are just so black and white with the way they judge, and that's a turn off if I've ever seen one.

To end this, here is an actual comment I found of a typical virgin-shamer:  

"omg full fail .... If you cant find to f@(# a girl you are full FULL (lfldfgjnsoenf) noob person..." 

I wish they were being sarcastic. Don't be like the above, 'kay? Thank you.

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