Wednesday, 11 September 2013

INFJ - Example of an INFJ's Failings (?)

Apparently, this was written by a fellow INFJ:

"For example, an INFJ responsible for planning a big 30th wedding anniversary party for her parents does everything in her power in the planning mode to make sure the soiree is beautifully prepared and others are comfortable and happy. The INFJ’s power of visualization is incredible; in the INFJ’s mind’s eye she can see how the tables are laid out, the music, the mood, the invitations, etc. But when the big day comes and the food arrives late, the weather is unbearably hot, and the people are cranky, the INFJ (who of course didn’t consider a “back-up” plan – this would have been far too practical) becomes frustrated, emotional, and stressed out. There is a tendency to take personal responsibility for failure (bad weather, the caterer being late). The INFJ figures if she had only planned it better somehow this might have been avoided. The entire “disaster” is perceived as a personal attack on the INFJ’s inferior function, her “blindspots” and ultimately her ego. Again, learning to loosen the ego’s grip on controlling the outcome and instead focusing on more as a way to interpret what is rather than as a way to foresee what should be, will help them live more authentically and healthily."

First off, I would like to copy one commenter's response on the author's advice about compromising our visions, "No, that’s a fail. That’s like telling a master wood carver to just go buy a cheap plastic knock off from Walmart. It's ok to fail, there is beauty in what could have been."

Exactly my thoughts. I'd rather go all out and fail, rather than tiptoe around due to fear of a lackluster outcome. Would another INFJ, Martin Luther King, have succeeded if he wasn't so uptight about his vision? That's a rhetorical question. This goes back to the old saying, "I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees."

Secondly, I cannot remember the last time I did something important without a backup plan. For example, I have about three jobs to fall back on in case my dreams don't come to fruition. I think most INFJs overthink and are prone to paranoia, so we cover all angles. We're only impulsive and foolhardy during distress, like jumping into a burning building to save someone, yet even then I think we know of the risks but do not care.

Basically, the article I pulled from is telling us to compromise. I'll pass. Just goes to show that personality types are only personality types. INFJs almost always hold ideals tightly, but our ideals can be polar opposites.

Still, just so nobody thinks I believe INFJs are blameless, I'll admit to taking personal responsibility for failures beyond my control. Like in the movies, when a hero fails to save someone and he ends up moping around, I do that often. Then his pals say, "this wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could do, etc." I think fellow INFJ Batman does that a lot.

I never intend to worry others with my self-blame, but I don't see how shrugging our shoulders and saying "eh, this wasn't my fault" strengthens character. If more people took on the burden of others' failings, this world wouldn't feel so apathetic. It's better to care too much than not enough, no? I think that's how most INFJs are - we care too much about everything.

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